


Feel something

by thesupernaturalTeen



Category: DC Comics
Genre: Batfamily, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne is going to be father, Good Grandparent Alfred Pennyworth, Jason Todd Deserves Better, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd is sorta the Arkham Knight, Other, Protective Alfred Pennyworth, he’s trying, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesupernaturalTeen/pseuds/thesupernaturalTeen
Summary: The Batfamily start to try and get close to Jason,but,something is wrong with him.   The family start to worry for him, and he doesn’t seem to believe that.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne & Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne & Barbra Gordon, Bruce Wayne & Batfamily, Bruce Wayne & Cassandra Cain, Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne & Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne
Comments: 19
Kudos: 174





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So,this is the first story I’ve written in Ao3. And do hope you enjoy it!

Jason Todd had sat at one of his many safe houses, although not his one of choice. He had simply gone to this one because it was the only one that none of the bats knew about.

Or at least,he thought. “Jason-“ The intruder was cut off as Jason let out an annoyed groan. There goes another safe house.

But,he didn’t say anything, lighting a cigarette. “I didn’t kill anyone today.” 

“I know that.” Jason turned to the oldest of the adopted siblings,face showing confusion,but there was something else. And it wasn’t just anger. “Then why are you here,Dick?”

Dick ran a hand through his hair,as if he was nervous or stressed. What’s got him so stressed that he came here,to me? “What? A big brother can’t see his little brother without a catch?” 

“Not when I’m the little brother being seen.” The words flew from his mouth before he could have even thought of what he was saying. It’s true. Dick’s face fell at the comment,it no longer held the nervousness it had just seconds ago,but,something had replaced it. It looked like...guilt. Sadness. 

Jason squinted, thinking that he was just seeing things. Because,why would Dick feel sad and guilty? 

[ ✽ ][ ✽ ][ ✽ ][ ✽ ][ ✽ ][ ✽ ][ ✽ ][ ✽ ][ ✽ ]

Richard felt guilt. He had stared at his younger brother,not knowing what to say. Was that truly what he thought of him? 

He watched him, staying still and quite for a moment. He didn’t even notice the eye roll he had gotten. “What the fuck do you want,Grayson?” The voice of his younger brother snapped him from his thoughts. 

Because,it didn’t sound annoyed or angry like he had expected. No,it sounded tired. “Uh,just, hadn’t seen each other in a while.”

”Yeah,I wonder,who’s fault is that?” Dick-for a moment-shifted,wanting to say how it wasn’t anyone’s fault but Jason’s,he was the one who made the choices to go out and MURDER people. But,he found himself holding back when he heard his voice again. “What’s wrong with you?” 

Jason’s head snapped to Dick,panicked for a moment,before a smirk came to his face. “Would you like me to start from Bruce’s list or my own? I think we both have one thing on the list that’s the same; me dying.” 

Dick-yet again-found himself staring at his brother as if he had said something that was cold. “I-uh...” 

Jason has to force the feeling of dread and hate for himself,turning his head to the side,which the darkness would cover up more of his face. “Should I call someone? Like a translator? Because I don’t get what you trying to say.”

Both brothers had been surprised at the laugh that Dick had let out. “No,uh,actually,I’m here for a reason.” 

Jason nodded, humming as he brought the cigarette back up to his lips, taking a drag before letting it out and speaking. “Figured. Thought it was to blame me for a murder.”

The smirk of Jason’s face told Dick that he wouldn’t want to here his next words,he quickly spoke,not wanting to here whatever it was he would say. “Alfred is cooking your favorite dinner and I could tell that he would want you there.”

”Just cause he cooked my favorite food?” Duck let out a breathe,his next words being more breathy,as if he was in pain. Or simply holding back a laugh. “He’s been doing it all week.” 

Jason let out the breathe of smoke early than he intended,turn in to Dick. “What?” 

“He’s been doing it all week, maybe a few more days than a week. He’d like it if your showed.” Dick’s voice for lower,as if it was t meant to be heard,or maybe it was and he was trying to make Jason feel guilt or something. “I’d like it if you showed.” 

Jason bit his lip,eyes glancing up at the ceiling. “Tonight?” 

Dick beamed,his voice already being cheery. “Yeah,in two hours.” 

Jason’s eyes stayed on the ceiling,not facing Dick. Hoping this isn’t just a trap to send him to Arkham. “If I don’t end up falling asleep, maybe.”

Dick smiled, getting wider as he thought of the vision of Jason sitting at the dinner table,everyone being in the dinning room. “Great!”

“I didn’t even agree!” Jason has tried to yell out,but,either a Dick truly didn’t hear him or he was simply ignoring him,either way,Jason glared our the window. 

“What the fuck did I just get myself into?”


	2. Chapter two: dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason arrives at the mansion for dinner. 
> 
> Why is everyone looking at him like that?

“Dinner”

Jason wasn’t even in the mansion’s drive way before he had regretted showing up. He doubted that anyone actually wanted him there. _It’s probably just a trap to get me in Arkham._

As he parked his motorcycle,taking his helmet off,his eyes stayed on the house,unblinking. _I’m going to regret this._

He placed his helmet on the handled of the motorcycle,he breathed out, his steps slow as he walked up to the manor. 

Jason ran his hands through his hair, it’s not like he could simply walk in. And he knew that it’s either be Dick or Alfred to open the door for him. 

He took a few breathe,trying not to show how tired and annoyed he felt. And scared. He brought his hand up,his fist hovering over the door for a moment,as if he didn’t want to do it. His fist came down,knocking on the door and he knew that now it was too late. 

The door swung open,revealing Dick standing behind it. “Great! You arrived!”

Dick opened the door wider,stepping off to the side and letting Jason enter. The young man looked around,scanning the house. “It’s hardly changed.” 

Dick nodded,Jason decided to ignore how the older one looked like he was jumping up and down a his arrival. “Everyone is already in the dining room.” 

Jason nodded,taking a step before pausing,turning around. “Does...does Bruce know I’m going to be here?” 

Dick looked as if he had asked the dumbest question in the world. “Well, everyone knows that I’ve invited you. But, everyone thought you’d make an excuse to not show up.” 

Jason followed Dick to the dining room,shrugging his shoulders. “I was thinking if it. But,thought that Alfred had enough battles of the brats.”

Dick’s smile grew,which Jason has thought was impossible. And he was confused as to why he was so happy. He hadn’t stopped smiling since he opened the door. “What did Alfred make? You haven’t stopped smiling,guessing he made something to make you look like...that.” 

Jason pointed to the smirk on Dick’s face,and at that sentence,his face fell. Which had confused Jason. As Dick went to open his mouth,they had entered the dinning room,all eyes snapped to them. 

Jason scanned the room,only smiling when his eyes landed on Alfred. It was only Dick that noticed the way Bruce had seemed...sad when he had seen that Jason only smiled at Alfred. “Master Todd,it’s-i wasn’t aware you were going to be attending diner.” 

Jason smiled,and Dick thinking’s it’s the most he’d seen Jason smile in a whole year. Even though he only smiled twice. “Well,a little birdie told me that an old man was missing me.” 

Alfred smiled, taking steps towards Jason. And before he knew it, he was wrapped in a hug. For a moment,he froze,not moving,then his own arm wrapped around the old man,tapping his back with his hand. “‘It’s good to see you.”

Jason scanned the table,seeing that he’s end up sitting in the chair across from Bruce,he silently cursed. 

He pushed the chair out,taking his seat. Everyone had their eyes on him,he smiled back at Alfred. But,he had ignored the way everyone’s eyes stayed in him,never leaving,especially Bruce’s. Because even as they where eating,he knew that everyone was simply glancing at him. 

But,Bruce’s eyes never left him. It had been quite the whole time. Until,Barbara spoke. “Okay,Bruce,your stare is getting creepy,and I’m not even the one your looking at!” 

Jason smile,letting out a low chuckle,which has made everyone’s Head snap towards him. “Imagine being the one receiving the stare.”

Jason turned to Barbra. He felt anger bubble up inside him. Not that he hated Barbra,but,hated the fact that she was in a wheelchair all because of the joker. He broke eye contact with Barbra,glancing at Bruce,who had yet to say anything. “I’m not going back to Arkham.”

”I-“ Jason turned his head,Joe his eyes never leaving Bruce. He looked sad...hurt. _Why would he be hurt?_

“Master Todd,will you be staying the night?”

Jason looked over at Alfred,who glanced at Bruce as he still didn’t say anything. He glanced out the window. “Everyone will be saying,there’s a storm tonight.”

Jason turned to Dick. “Made it through worst.” 

Everyone glanced at Bruce-aside from Jason-,as if expecting him to say something. “Jason.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter,but,I’m still getting used to writing on this app. 
> 
> I’ve got a few plans for this story (a others) but,I’ll try and focus before making over twenty stories that only end up getting updated once in a while.


	3. Chapter three: Convince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole bayfamily tries and successes in getting Jason to sleep at the manor.

"Sleep"

Jason stared up,as it was the first time that Bruce had spoken,and it was just a simple call of his name. But,it seemed as if whatever else he was going to say had gotten stuck in his throat. It was quite for a few seconds,eeryone waitig for bruce to say something. Jason raised an eyebrow,smirking as his next words had practically made everyone gasp,aside from Damian he had rolled his eyes. "What's wrong,Bruce? Look like you've seen a ghost."

Jason was the only one too laugh,either if it's simply cause he's the only one who laughed at his own jokes or the faces of everyone when they had heard what he said. "That...that's not funny." jason shurgged his shoulders at Bruce,going back to eating. "Hey,if a man cannot joke about his own death,what can he joke about?"

Dick had stiffined,shoulders slumping. Alfred had looked horrified. Everyone had the same look: horror,grieve and sadness. Jason rolled his eyes. "God,when did everyone get so sensitive to the topic of death?" 

"Master Jason..." At the voice of alfred,Jason immeditaly regretted the joke. He apologozed to the butler. "Sorry,Alf. no death talk at the dinner table."

Jason had wondered if he had ruined the dinner with a simple joke. He didn't dare in saying that he had made worst jokes of his death then that. It was quite for a while,Jason ran a hand through his hair. He had been ignoring Bruce's and everyone's stare on him,but,when he had lifted up a hand,they had realzized it was wrapped. "What happened there?"

It was Tim who questioned it,and Jason wodered if it was to early to make another joke. And judging by the fact that no one had spoken since,it was. he brought his hand down from his hair,glancing at it. He remembered how he got it,but,quickly pushed the memory back and came up with a lie. "Stopped some thugs,had a kid cornered,got stabbed in the hand." But,he quickly had added. "And no,I didn't kill them."

"Do you need that checked out?" Jason turned his head to the side,clearly confused as to why Bruce sounded as if he cared. Because,there was no way that Bruce truly cared. "No,I've got it taken care of. It's nothing compared to other wounds." 

Jason went back to eating,as if he didn't just admit that he'd had much worst wounds,and knowing him more than half of them had to be deadly,yet he never came to the manor for help. "You should stay the night."

Jason looked over to Dick,when Barbra spoke up. "Yeah,everyone is,you should to." He didn't expect the chorus of agrees for him to stay. It had taken almost ten mintues of all of them speaking for him to agree to stay. "Okay, if it makes you all shut up,i'll stay the night. Giving me a headache worst than when I was stabbed three times." 

"It'd give Alfred the time to check on yoru wounds." Jason sent up a glare towards Bruce,but he ignored the glare and looked towards Alfred. "Once dinner is done,check his wounds." Jason went to speak,about to say how he was now an adult and didn't need help,but Alfred glanced at him,worry shinning in his eyes. "Of course,Master Bruce."

Jason wondered if he started to eat slower would they just forget about the fact they want to check on his wounds and scars. Which he did,started to eat slower,he heard a few laughs,and just knew one elonged to Dick and one to Barbra but he wasn't sure who the other laughs belonged to. Cassandra didn't seem like to type to laugh that,he knew Damian was rolling his eyes. Maybe it was Tim and Stephanie. But,he duobted that the replacement would laugh at anything he said,with the whole; Jason trying to kill him thing.

His plan didn't work. Alfred had just said that he knew what he was doing and that Jason could finish his dinner later. Maybe he shouldn't of taken so long,as the fact that everyone was finished. he sighed,following Alfred down to the batcave but had kept his gaze on the floor. He knew that Bruce still had the old robin suit up,reminding him that he veiwed Jason has his biggest failure and that he wasn't that happy kid anymore. 

That kid was gone. 

Jason hated this next part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today! And possibly a third,i'm actually really exicted and inspired work on this story.


	4. Chapter four:  scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred-at Bruce’s request-had checked Jason for his wounds,he is worried and horrified at seeing the amount of his scars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright,I’m so hype for this! But,I’m the comments,could you guys give me some information? I’ve never actually read the comics (although my mom says she can try and get me some,also,I ordered red hood shoes) 
> 
> I used to read the comics but that was when I was younger. (8? 9?) So,I’d appreciate it if you guys gave me some information on the comics.

“Scars.”

Jason day in one of the med beds that was in the bat cave,watching has Alfred unwrapped his hand. Jason was lost in his own mind, his brain reminding him of how he had gotten the scar.

_Jason couldn’t stop hearing the crazy, obsessive laugh. Or the way the crowbar swung through the air before colliding into his body. “What hurts more? A or B?” A two huge came down on him. “Forehand? Or backhand?”  
  
_

_Jason shut up,panicked,but the voice just wouldn’t stop laughing. He gripped the knife, swinging it. The laugh echoed, him hearing it from everywhere, but nowhere. Until it was directly behind him, his hand came up,pinning the imaginary figure and bringing the knife down,but,then pain erupted in his hand. He blinked,the seeing his hand was pinned to the wall, by his own knife.  
  
_

_”_ Master Jason?” the call of his name had his head snap up, forcing a smile. “Sorry,Alfie...uh,what...did you say something?”   
  


The older man turned his head, scanning the much younger one. “Master Jason, are you alright?” Jason glanced down, unsure of what to say. Because,the answer was no,but,he wasn’t going to say that to Alfred. “Yeah,just..forgot for a moment.”   
  


“I’d like to check for any other wounds.” Jason snapped up at him,panicked. “Uh,no,I’m good. I...I’m okay.”   
  


“Yes,well,I don’t believe I can trust your word on that.” Jason let out a breathe, hating this now. His arms reached down, gripping the shirt and removing it. He hadn’t seen the point,Alfred would end up winning anyway. He didn’t dare look at Alfred,hearing a gasp. “Oh dear...Jason...” 

He was covered in scars,a ‘Y’ shaped on a diss his chest,which was from his autopsy. He had a few stab wounds, three on the left side of him and two in his right. While he has one wound of a bullet on his left and three gun shots on his right. “It’s...they are mostly from being Red Hood.”   
  


Alfred’s voice was soft, barley a whisper. It had been more like a breathe. “...Master Jason...”

The young man finally looked up,even though he hadn’t even wanted to. “Don’t...you can’t tell anyone. Especially not Dick.”   
  


Jason glanced around, turning his head, it was then that Alfred noticed the scratch at the back of his neck, reaching to the lower part of his head. “I’m only here for him. He asked me here.”   
  


Jason turned back around, hating himself now. The old man looked so...heartbroken. But,Jason, hadn’t thought it was for him. He had simply thought that he had hated the fact that the boy had probably just gotten the rest of the family in trouble. “...and you.”

Alfred looked at Jason, his eyes never leaving the boy. It was quite for a moment, when Alfred’s eyes lifted up. “Master Bruce.”

Jason had hoped that Alfred grew a twisted,sick sense of humor as Jason’s. His head snapped to the door,eyes widening. 

✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎✮︎  
  


Bruce stared, seeing a few scars on Jason’s back and the one on his neck. “Master Bruce.”   
  


Jason’s head snapped to the door, eyed widening. He scrambled. “God,Jesus! Bruce, what the fuck? Don’t you knock?”   
  


Jason leaned over, grabbing his shirt,but,having turned around had given the chance for Bruce to see the scars that he was covered in. “Iv’e gotta go.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So,uh,yeah,I couldn’t sleep and ended up making this chapter...I mean,i technically didn’t upset three times a day,it’s pass one.


	5. Chapter five: guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce reflects on the scars of Jason, and can’t help but feel guilty.

“Guilt”

Bruce hadn’t moved one inch. He had called out for the young man,but,hadn’t moved. He couldn’t.   
  


“Master Bruce,” but the butler stopped speaking,he didn’t know what to say either.   
  


[☾★ ][☾★ ][☾★ ][☾★ ][☾★ ][☾★ ][☾★ ][☾★ ]

Jason knew that if was a fucking horrible idea to go out on portal at this time. But,he just needed to take his anger out.   
  


Which,was why he was in this situation. He groaned,glancing down at the gun shot wound.

” Fucking bitch.” Jason looked to the man-who was now dead. He breathed out,knowing that he was losing blood. He scanned himself, just noticing that he had actually gotten shot twice. 

His head hit the brick wall behind him, he was leaning against it. “Fuck Batman. Fuck Bruce.” His right hand pressed to the shot gun, his left pressing onto his shoulder. “Okay, okay.”   
  


Jason glanced around, trying to remember the street he was in and just how far one of his safe houses was. But, as he stood up, readying himself to walk to one of his safe houses, dark figure jumped down.   
  


“Uh, cant you just leave me alone for five fucking minutes? What? Want to watch me bleed out?” Jason groaned, annoyed.   
  


“Came back to the manor.” Jason rolled his eyes,glaring. “What? So you can either cut my neck or beat me again? No thanks.”   
  


Batman-Bruce-froze at those words. Which Jason didn’t understand as it was true. Not that Jason would ever admit that he was scared of what would happened the next time he dumped into Bruce. “You are coming back to the manor.”   
  


Jason raised his fist, hardly caring is he would blows out. “Over my dead body.” He smirked to himself. “...again.”


	6. Chapter six: determined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason is determined to get to one of his safe houses,Bruce is determined to get Jason back to the manor.

“Determined”

Jason knew he was being followed,but,that didn’t stop him from hoping on his motorcycle. _It’s just Bruce._

  
He had decided that if Bruce was going to continue to follow him,he might as well go to a safe house that Batman already knew of. As there was no way he was giving up a location of an unknown was. Even though, one his his unknown was was closer.   
  


_It’s just closer by a few minutes._

_[══][══][══][══][══][══][══][══]_

Jason had stumbled into his safe house,one hand holding pressure onto he wound,but,the other wound was bleeding faster. “Stupid Bruce.”

Of course, he knew that Bruce was still following him. He just didn’t care. At all. 

His hand shot up, blood immediately pouring from the gun shots. The lights flickered on, Jason blinking with the lights as the blood lost started to make him see black spots. 

Jason pushed that feeling away, stumbling to his couch,immediate collapsing onto it. 

He struggled to remove him jacket, leaning over to the small table in the living room and grabbing the medical kit. 

“Fucking,stupid bitch ass Bruce.”

He lifted his shirt,seeing the wounds.

He sighed, starting to stitch up one of the bullet wounds. “You know,if your here to beat me,your gonna have to give me a minute.” 

Bruce had watched as Jason stumbled into the safe house,the lights flickering on. He was quite,but,he knew that Jason knew that Bruce was there. Jason had collapsed onto the couch. “Fucking,stupid bitch ass Bruce.” He watched as Jason lifted his shirt,both of them seeing the wounds. Bruce held his breathe for a moment. _He’ll bleed out if he doesn’t come back to the manor._ “You know,if your here to beat me,you gonna have to give me a minute.”

Bruce froze. Of course,he knew Jason knew that Bruce was there. But,it was the fact that he had kept making jokes that definitely weren’t funny. “How funny will it be if I had bleed out in Crime Alley? I mean,I did used to think that I’d die there.”

Jason lifted his head,he let out a sighed. “I didn’t kill anyone,so why are you here? Can’t you see I’m busy?”   
  


“Come back to the manor.” Jason shook his head,lowering it again to stitch up the other bullet wound. “Like, I said ‘over my dead body’.”   
  


Bruce didn’t reply, he was to busy trying to think of just how long it would take Jason to pass-out if blood loss or if Jason was it the state to be sedated. He definitely wasn’t in the state to fight Bruce. “You can stop acting like you care. Just leave. And of in the morning they say they found Red Hood,dead,in Crime Alley,you can pretend your sad and all or show how you really feel and throw a party.”

Bruce had growled at the words,watching as Jason went slower in stitching the wounds. He snapped his jaw shut,trying not to show his anger. He didn’t want to address what was just said. Not now at least,because then they’d get into a fight,and Jason would stop stitching himself to fight with Bruce. “You’ll bleed out.”   
  


Jason finished the second bullet wound,rolling his eyes when he moved to the stab wound. He let out a curse when his vision started to blurr and black spots were getting in the way of him stitching himself up. He grinded his teeth down,licking his lips. “Call Dick. Leave.”

Jason passed out. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason wakes up in the batcave. 
> 
> He doesn’t want to be here.

  
Jason didn’t even have to open his eyes to know that he wasn’t in his safe house. The cold air,was even colder. The couch wasn’t digging into his back.   
  


His hand darted to his other arm,feeling for the needle and ripping it off,then swinging his legs over the medbay bed.

“You shouldn’t do that.”

Jason ignored the voice,rolling his eyes before placing his hands in the medbed,slowly pushing himself in. “You need to rest.”   
  


“I have a place to rest.” Jason glared up,glancing at the bandages. “Who wrapped me up?” _Please don’t let it be Alfred or Dick_

“I did.” Jason gave a surprised look at Bruce. “Huh,would I thought you’d let me bleed out.”   
  


Bruce stared for a moment,horror and hurt being written on his face. But,before he could say anything Jason had jumped from the bed. “As fun as this have been,I need to get back to Crime Alley.”

“Red Robin and Robin has taken over your patrol.” Jason smiled widely at that. “Great,so,I can get out of here without the demon saying how pathetic I am.”   
  


Jason gripped his jacket,gathering his things. He gave Bruce a smirk. “So,I killed one guy. That’s all. Didn’t even mean to kill him,bastard moved and got himself shot.”   
  


Jason moved,slugging the jacket on and scanning for his bike. He groaned,throwing his head back. “I’m gonna borrow one of the extra bikes.”   
  


He walked over to the bikes,which they didn’t belong to anyone. They were in case a bike was to damaged to fix in that moment.   
  


Jason slid his legs over the bike,straggling it. Then went to put the helmet on,someone gripped his hand.   
  


The younger one glared growling. “What?” Bruce stared for a moment,not knowing what to say,now knowing how Jason would react to what Bruce wanted to say. “Stay.”   
  


It was quite. Then Jason let out a quick laugh. He took a look around. “What? Did you call Superman to burst in in a few seconds to send me to Arkham?”   
  


Jason laughed again,shaking his head. But,Bruce could read see but not understand the look on his face. It looked like he was upset and sad. But,it looked as if he held no emotion as well. “Honestly,Bruce,you have to stop.”   
  


Bruce turned his head,confused. As he was about to open his mouth,it had been like Jason knew what he was going to ask. “Stop acting like you care.”   
  


Bruce never thought it would be possible for Jason to hurt him even more. “Y-you don’t think I care?”   
  


Jason gave a rough laugh. “You really want to know what I think?” Bruce nodded,silently wishing that he hadn’t stopped Jason from putting on his helmet,as now he could see the look Jason had. “I think...” 

Jason tried to fight the urge to say ‘know’ but ended up in saying it anyways. “I know,that you wish I was still dead. That you wish I had never came back.”   
  


And again,Bruce was quite again,hurt written all over him. Jason raised an eyebrow at that _the fuck is wrong with him?_  
  


Jason shoved the helmet on,starting to bike,when he was pulled off it,almost flying into the air if it hadn’t been for two hands gripping his jacket.   
  


He glared up at Bruce,growling. “Might want to be careful,looks like you want to kill me.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce doesn’t one what to say or how to react.

Bruce gripped the material of his son’s jacket,dragging him closer. Jason kept on a smirk. “Careful,it looks like you want to kill me.” 

Everything that Jason was saying just kept hurting Bruce. Surly the last one didn’t mean anything,right? It was just Jason being Jason. Saying that any look of anger looked like someone wanting to kill him.

Someone wanting him dead. 

_Why would Jason think I want him dead? Why does he think he’d better off dead? Why does he say things like this? Does he say it to only bother me? Does he really feel this way?_

Jason furrowed his eyebrows,confused as to why he wasn’t hit yet. It called a crazy. He squinted,scanning Bruce’s face. 

But,the man just kept with his emotionally hurt/anger look. Jason turned his head,the collar of his jacket brushing against the scar.

He had scanned the room,searching for one of the bat’s sidekicks it teammates,but,saw nobody. _What is Bruce planning?_

Bruce could tell that Jason was ready for an attack. And honestly? Bruce didn’t know what he was doing. He wasn’t going to attack or harm Jason. He didn’t want to. “Stop talking like that.”

Jason’s head snapped to Bruce,for a moment recalling what he said,but,before he could speak,Bruce continued. “Stop acting like I want you dead.”

Jason looked confused,turning his head. The next words making Bruce’s heart shatter. “You don’t wish I never came back?” 

Perhaps Jason said those words to distract Bruce. He didn’t really mean that,right? He didn't really believe that...right? Bruce’s grip had loosened as Jason spoke,now letting go of him completely. 

Jason darted back onto the motorcycle,but,once again was stopped. Just not by Bruce. “Master Jason,I do hope that you are not planning on leaving with such with such yours.” 

Jason turned to Alfred,frowning,he glanced back at Bruce,then back at Alfred. _Iv’e dealt with worst._ But,Jason didn’t say that. He wouldn’t want to see how sad the old man would get.

He sighed,removing the helmet. “I’m okay,Alfred.” The twin older men frowned,Jason’s eyes flickering back to Bruce. His eyes had kept shifting,never staying off Bruce for long. As if he had expected a attack. “Precisely. I cannot trust you to attend to your wounds responsibly.” 

Jason felt hurt at the comment. Alfred saying that he wasn’t responsible enough to take care of himself. He frowned,head bowing down. 

Alfred didn’t mean it. Of course,he trusted Jason. He had just wanted the young man to stay longer. And he also wanted to see how his wounds would end up. Because,even though he trusted him,he knew that all of them had pushed themselves,even when injured. “I shall set a room for you.” 

And he walked off without another word. Jason soared another glanced at Bruce,then followed in Alfred’s steps. 

Of course,Jason wasn’t asleep. He had just gone to the library,his eyes taking the shelves that held the books. “You always came here when you couldn’t sleep.” 

Jason didn’t look up. He just kept scanning the books,reading the titles in his head. He planned to take them when Bruce was on patrol. “You can take a book.” 

Jason’s head snapped to Bruce,the older man assuming the young one had been a potted that Bruce was telling him what to do. Not,that the older man had somewhat read his mind. “I mean,if you went.” Bruce stared down at he ground. 

He hated this. He hated that his relationship with Jason was as if they both had to walk on eggshells. 

Both of them afraid of what their words will have the other react. Jason turned his head,fingers coming up to a book a pulling it out. He scanned the book,flipping it from cover to back. 

He slid it back into place,sliding his hand into his pockets,he said nothing. “Are you sure you should be up so soon?”

Bruce’s voice broke the silence,voice low. Jason shrugged. “I’ve dealt with worst. You know.(?)”. 

Bruce wasn’t sure if it was suppose to be a statement or a question. He wasn’t sure if that was suppose to be directed at him. “Bad dream?” 

_Yes,you proved that you never cared and killed me instead of that stupid clown._ JaSon shook his head,getting rid of his thoughts. “The normal. Nothing new. Dying. Coffin. Bomb. Crowbar.” Jason shrugged his shoulder’s not really caring. 

Bruce frowned,Jason facing away from him. It was quite between the two,Jason let out a breathe. He turned,passing rice and lit the door. Bruce stayed,quite and unsure of what to say. He never knew what to say to Jason. 


	9. Chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone forced Jason to stay at the manor. 
> 
> Jason reveals his experience in Arkham.

Jason had packed up his stuff. He had planned a quick leave. 

Of course, that's not what he got. _Did Bruce get more kids since I went to the library?_

”Jason,come on! Alfred made breakfast.” Dick smiled, practically bouncing in excitement, wrapping a arm around Jason.   
  


“Get off me, Dickhead.”   
  


Dick stayed by close, not grabbing Jason to drag him, but close by. Jason glared when he realized the reason. He thought Jason was to weak to walk. Just because of two gun shots and a knife wound.   
  


“I’m not weak.” Jason glared, moving his arm from were Dick could easily reach out.   
  


“I never said your were.”

Jason ignored the words, walking through the hall and towards the dinning room. He hoped that if he stayed for breakfast, they’d leave him alone.

That didn’t work. As while he was eating, they tried to talk to him. He rolled his eyes, glaring up. “Like I said; If this is a plot to send me to Arkham, forget about it. You can break you no kill rule-“

”I’m not killing the Joker.” Bruce blantily spoke.

"Not the Joker." Jason shrugged. "I'm not going to Arkham, I'd rather die again." he paused, taking a bit of his food. "I mean, you've already almost killed me, what does it matter if you actually do it? I'm your enemy-"

"No!" Jason didn't know if it had been Bruce or Dick to yell that first. But, it just left him confused. Why’d the two look as if he had said the most hurtful and craziest things ever?

Jason was just confused. They always attacked, reason or not. Explanation or not. He had a great explanation for what he had done and they attack him. 

“Okay, so Bruce acted like he cared-“ Jason gestured to Bruce, then shifting to Bruce and Dick. “Now, he’s doing it again but, with your help.” 

He scanned everyone, seeing that Alfed and looked horrified and sad. “I’m serious, is the justice league around? Just waiting for the moment to pop out and stick me in Arkham? What? You gonna put me in the same cell as the Joker this time?”

Dick froze at that, guilt hitting him. As it’s his fault for Jason thinking he’d be sent to Arkham. But, why would he think they’d put him so close to the Joker? The man who killed him once, already. “Little wing...what-why- How could you...we’d never do that!”

”You did it before. I mean, I was five doors down, but, still, not much of a difference when all he did was laugh and say how he’s getting another chance to kill me. Dramatic ass, surprised the clown didn’t ask a guard if he could have a crowbar.”

While Jason calmly ate, everyone had been horrified, even Damian looking up at Jason. 

“Jason...” his head snapped at the voice, not knowing how to react as Alfred had only said his name. And it seemed like the old man wanted to millions of questions, but none had been voiced. 

“Alfie, you alright?” 

The image of the Joker with hundreds of shot-gun bullets in his body had placed it’s self in Alfred’s head. He shook his head, scanning the table. 

“The guards...” Tim started, coughing. “they are there to help and protect-“

”Considering they let and helped in drag me out of my cell to take me to the abandoned part in Arkham, I don’t think they were there to protect me.”   
  


And now everyone looked at him in guilt and anger that has been aimed at those in Arkham.   
Jason just rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, don’t tell me you didn’t know that. You just didn’t want to end up worrying about what I’d do when I got out.” Jason then laughed, as if he had truly said something funny. “I éscaped twice, and you but me back there. So, either your not as good of a detective as you declare, or, you didn’t care.”   
  


At the accusation of not caring for him, both Dick and Bruce had opened their mouths to tell him he wrong he was. That they did care about him.   
  


“Luckily, he didn’t actually carve into my face.”

No one said a word, shocked at the words. “Pardon?”

”He said something about me being his robin.” Jason shrugged, quickly finishing his breakfast. “As much fun as this was, I’ll be on my way. Talk to you later, Alfred.”   
  


With that, Jason left, ignoring the stares as he left. _Should have kept your damn mouth shut. Better not track me_


	10. Chapter 10

Everyone had frozen in their place, unable to react or move at the new discovery of Jason’s time in Arkham.   
  


_just how bad was it? How much pain was he put in there? In the League of assassins? Because of me.  
  
_

Jason turned, going down the hall. He had just opened the door of Bruce’s study before a hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder. He quickly grabbed them, flipping them, pinning one arm underneath the person, grabbing their other arm to break it.   
  


“Tim?” He asked, then quickly let go.   
  


“Arkham.” Tim started, letting out a breathe as Jason had knocked the breathe out of him when throwing him to the floor. “What-what happened?”

Jason’s eyebrows furrowed. “You mean Bruce didn’t show you guys the videos? Joker recorded it all, sent it to Batman.”   
  


“What?”   
  


Jason sighed, rubbing his forehead. “He sent everything to Batman. Or, at least he kept talking into the camera like he was talking to him.”

He turned back, entering the study and going over to he grand-clock.   
  


Tim simply stared, not sure of how to react. He shook his head, running into the cave but, when he got there, Jason had driven out of the cave.   
  


Tim slowly approached the bat-computer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but, the next one will have the recording. 
> 
> Which, I mostly know from sevens I’ve seen on YouTube of the Arkham Knight game. I don’t know if they did different scenes of torture in the Arkham Knight game and the comics when Jason was put in Arkham.


	11. Chapter 11

“Batman‘s not coming to save you, Jason.” Joker spoke, the young man tied to the chair nodding. Tim wasn’t sure if he had wanted for Jason to believe that Batman would have came for him or to believe not. As if he believed that Batman would come for him, then he’d end up being disappointed. But, if he had believed that Batman wouldn’t come to save him, then, that’d also make Tim feel as if the whole world came crashing down. “None of them are.”

“He...never would.” Jason stumbled, breathing sounding rough and stuttering. 

Joker laughed on the screen, all Tim could do was stare in horror. As Joker turned around.

Tim ignored the footsteps, the sound that he had heard some time ago. He couldn’t take his eyes off the screen, feeling as though he failed.   
  


The rest of the family were arguing, yelling at each other. When Alfred cleared his throat, making them all turn. The older man didn’t even say a word, everyone reading the disappointment in his face. “I shall be down in the Batcave.” _To get away from the disappointment you are.  
_

Alfred walked out, the others sighing before following. Hoping that Jason was still there. But, once entering froze at the sight in front of them.   
  


Tim at the Bat-computer, Jason being chained up, the Joker taunting him. 

Bruce’s fist collided into the cave wall. “What is this?”

”Jason...” Tim started, eyes flickering back at Bruce but, immediately shot back to the screen. “He-he said the Joker recorded everything and sent it to you. I-“ 

Tim was cut off as Jason screamed. Which has made everyone freeze in their place, eyes darting at the screen, to see Joker hit Jason hard enough that the chair fell over. 

“Oh god-“ Dick felt like he was gonna hurl. _You did that to him. You locked him up there._  
  


No one knew how long they stood there, watching as Jason continued to be tortured: hit, starved. When Joker turned back around. “Have you got something to tell how nice man, Jason?”

“My name is Jason Todd.” Jason’s voice no longer held the snarky attitude. It hadn’t for a while, all them only hearing Jason scream in pain.   
  


“Who you hate?”   
  


“Batman.”   
  


Bruce took in a breathe, hurt at the words.   
  


“Excellent. Of course you do. Did you get that Bats? Kid’s not yours anymore. He’s mine. Mine, mine, mine. To do as I wish.” The Joker smiled into the camera, then turned around, walking back towards Jason. “Hey, I never asked. What’s the big secret? Who is the big, bad, bat? His name. Tell me!”

“Of course,sir. It’s-“ Tim’s eyes widen, Dick’s mouth dropping open ad Bruce glared at the screen and the others stared in disbelief. Jason have given up Bruce?   
  


Joker pulled out a gun, shooting Jason. The force of the impact, making Jason fall from his seat. Dick snapped his head to turn away, Tim’s eyes snapping towards the ground. As both Duke and Cassandra and had rush in grabbing Alfred before he fell to the floor.   
  


“Never could stand a tattletale. That’s why I work alone. No one to spoil the punch line. You should try it sometime. After all, you’ve seen what happened when you drag your friends into this crazy little game of ours.” Joker put the camera on his face, then shifted it to Jason.   
  


“Batman?” Jason asked, as another video played. And Tim was frozen in the spot, no longer wanting to watch these videos but unable to stop them. “Is that you?”   
  


“Batman’s not coming to save you, Jason.” He ripped the bag off, Bruce’s mind popping up with the image of Jason being waterboarded.

It was as if Jason was torn between Bruce would come to save him and he wouldn’t. “He will.” But, even behind the blood, and the camera distance, they could tell he didn’t believe that.   
  


“Scared.” Cassandra stated, pointing at the screen-Jason.   
  


“it’s been months, it’s time to face the facts-“ multiple batarangs hit the bat-computer, Tim moving as he heard them moving in the air. 

  
  


Tim slowly turned back around. “Jason...he said the Joker was going to carve into his face.” 

Bruce didn’t answer, rushing in putting his bat suit on before leaving. No one stopped him. Knowing who he was going after. The Joker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really don’t know everything the joker did, I don’t play games that much and I just started reading comics like three or four months ago, but haven’t gotten all of the ones before this. So...I’ve got the clips from insta.


	12. Chapter 12

Jason plopped onto his couch once he made it to his safe house, sighing out in relief. He hoped that the Bat’s didn’t know about this safe house. But, with his luck, one of them had indeed known of its existence.   
  
But, now, he was to tired to care if they knew.   
  


“Shit.” He cursed, getting up from his couch and searching for his phone. He quickly opened on, searching for Tim’s name and tapping on it. “Come on, come on. Pick up.”

The second Tim picked up, Jason was yelling. “Tim! Whatever you do, don’t watch the video-“

“We already did.” Tim’s voice was light, small as if he was hurt.   
  


“Tim? Are you alright? What happened? Did you guys go out to patrol?” He looked over at his window, then glanced at the time on his phone.   
  


“We watched the videos, Jason.” Tim said again, leaving Jason confused.   
  


“Okay, but, you sound like-“

”Did you really think we wouldn’t care?” Tim’s voice broke off, sounding like he was fighting off on crying.   
  


Jason stayed silent, not sure how to answer that when Tim was crying. If Tim wasn’t crying, Jason would have laughed at the suggestion. His silence was taken as the answer. “Jason, just- just because Bruce can’t say it-can’t-“

”Bruce slit my throat when I told him to kill the Joker. I wanted for Bruce to prove he gave an actual shit and he slit my that it and dragged the Joker from the exploding building. Then, when I shot a blank at Penguin, he attacked me. He never even hit the Joker that hard.”   
  


At the words, Tim took in a sharp breathe, breathing out his next words. “Jason, Bruce saw the videos.”   
  


Jason froze, scanning his apartment, then rushing to his room, ripping open the closet before shoving clothing into a bag.   
  


“Jason? Jason? Jason! Answer me!”   
  


When had Tim started yelling? Jason looked around, grabbing guns and daggers and pushing them into a second bag. He left out on explosive, he stared at the thing. Tim’s yells and screams were a background sound, slowly turning onto whispers before it was nothing.   
  


Jason walked out of his safe house, pulling the pin on the explosive, and throwing it at the building.

The building explaining as Jason hoped onto his motorcycle. 

“Jason? Are you okay? Jason? Jason? Answer me! Jason!” Tim yelled, rushing in typing on the computer to find his coordinates. “Cass, Damian, find Jason! Barbra take over, I’ll go help them!”   
  


Barbra rolled towards hen computer, while Tim, Damian, and Cassandra rushed in putting their suits on. Dick has gone after Bruce, when he left. “Alfred, set up the medbay.”

Jason drove, not even knowing where he was going. But, knowing he had to get out of Gotham. Batman was after him, he’d seen the videos. He’s seen that Jason was going to give up his identity.

He had to get out of Gotham. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason is on the run, in fear of what Batman will do

Batman threw the Joker towards the wall, the deranged clown hitting hard, but only laughed as Batman punched him again. 

The yells of the guards yelling at each other if they should stop him. 

Nightwing ran in, grabbing Batman’s arm and pulling at him. “Batman! Stop it! Your gonna kill him!”

Joker continued to laugh, while Nightwing tried to stop Batman from continuing to punch him. 

Robin,Black Bat and Red Robin ran on top of building, searching Jason’s safe houses and the streets where his tracker last was. “Where is he?” 

“A camera ” Oracle suddenly spoke. “has caught him-hes leaving Gotham!”

”What?” Tim asked, confused. Why would Jason leave Gotham? Especially after what they watched? “Get in contact with him, send the Batmobile here.” 

Oracle followed the orders, the Batmobile showing up in the street below, the three jumping from thin tops of building and hoping into the car. 

“What?” Jason had yelled as they had continued to call his phone number and his coms. 

He was already in Bludhaven, half way through the town, and he was going to stop to switch out his bike aswell as his clothes. 

“Where are you going? What are you doing?”

“Batman saw the video!” Jason yelled, looking around and smirked widely as he has seen a car that he could easily switch for the bike. “He knows I as gonna give up his identity, and I’m not going back to being his punching bag or back to Arkham.”

”Jason, no, listen-“ Tim tried to reason, not knowing that Jason had already switched his clothing and bike for ones that would cover him up. Tim turned to Cassandra, lowering his voice. “Does B have any trackers on Jason?”

Black Bat turned, looking at the front of the Batmobile, bringing up the screen in which showed everyone's tracker’s. 

Jason brought up the scalpel, slicing the part of which Bruce had put the tracker-he wasn’t sure when Bruce did that- the removing it, he looked around, ‘accidentally’ bumping into someone and placing the tracker in the person.

He ditched the bike, paying for a car then driving it away. He ignored the shocked and surprised look he had received when he demanded to have to car outside at that every moment.   
  
Jason hoped in the car, immediately speeding off.   
  


“Haha,” the Joker laughed, rolling to his side. His laugh stuttered, as Batman had broken his ribs. “A little birdy went missing? Batsy, you-“

A punch to his throat, then his face. “Shut up.” Nightwing growled.   
  


“Who is it? The little one? One of the girls? ‘Red Robin’?” He laughed at the name, then looking up with a wide smile. “Or is it my Robin?”

At the words, Batman lunched at the Joker, Nightwing grabbing him again then glaring up the guards. The guards that let Jason be tortured.

 _you did too. You put him here. The joker hurt him, again, because o_ _f you._

”Batman, you need to-“

Batman growled, glaring. “You saw what I saw. He-“

”Yeah,” Dick glanced at the Joker, who was rolling in the floor and laughing. “he hurt Jason, so did you.” He shoved him back. “So, did I. All of us did. But, the difference? Joker is a deranged, lunatic killer...we were suppose to be his family.”

”Oohh,hahah.” The joker realized, laughing. “Batsy, you did watch the videos! I thought you were ignoring me! To bad I couldn’t sign my best work. My Robin is-“

Nightwing couldn’t stop Batman from grabbing the green-haired-clown if he wanted to. As Batman punched Joker again, who laughed. “Yes, haha, do it.” _Break your number one rule.  
  
_

But, Batman dropped the Joker to the floor, breathing out. The Joker cackled as he looked at Batman, trying to calm himself. “Oh, come on, I hit Jason harder than that.”  
  


Dick’s mind flashed with the moment Joker said similar words. When he had killed him. 

“Nightwing, Batman,” Oracle sounded in his ear.

”Oracle, what is it?”

”Jason is leaving Gotham.”

Nightwing and Batman stopped, looking at each other with worry and confusion.   
  


“What? Do you know why?” Dick asked, looking to see Bruce’s reaction.   
  


“He think that Batman is coming after him.” Oracle exhaled. “He...he said he’s leaving because...he doesn’t want to be Batman’s punching bag.”   
  


Bruce froze. Was that what Jason thought? After what the Joker had done? For what?   
  


“He said since Batman saw the video, he saw that Jason was about to give up his identity. BB,RR, Robin and I are searching for him, but, he got rid of his trackers, his phone. I can’t even find his bike, he probably switched it out for something, and mostly likely the same thing with the clothes.”

“Well, even so, Jason...it’s easy to spot him.” Dick tried.   
  


“He’s probably in a car, anything that would make him easy to spot-“ Tim started.

”His height and how buff he is.” Stephanie pointed out.   
  


“His black hair with the white streak.” Duke continued. 

  
“Green and blue eyes, then his eyes turning entirely green when he’s angry.” Stephanie gestured to her own covered eyes.   
  


“The scar on his throat.” Tim sneered, glaring at nothing in particular since Batman wasn’t near.   
  


That had gotten silence. No one saying anything as they heard the venom in Tim’s voice, who shot a glare at Damian as he gave a scoff. “Why search for Todd? He will not return.”

”Yeah, because your father-“ Tim glared, angry that Damian still was defending Bruce and bashing on Jason, so, he didn’t expect Damian’s next words.   
  


“Precisely,” Damian hissed. “Todd wasn’t to get away from father. If he wants to leave, and make it difficult for father to find him, hurt him, let him.” Damian ‘tsk’. “Jason will return when he wants to, not while Bruce can get to him.”

The silence lasted longer, as Damian had spoke the reason he didn’t want to find Jason, because he wanted Jason to feel save. And he had called Jason by his first name, not his last, and he called Bruce by his first name, not father.   
  


Damian muttered under his breathe. “He will return when he wants.” _It’s not hard to figure out where he went._  
  


“Damian, did...” Dick started. “Did Jason give you a number to contact him? Or do you know where he’s going?”   
  


_both_ instead, he rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an imbecile, Todd would never trust us with that information. He wouldn’t risk the chance we turn it to you or Father.” 

Once again, no one said anything. And came to the realisation, that once again; they lost Jason. But, this time, they were really the only ins to blame. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, um, yeah... I can’t really write the Joker... but, yeah, so.
> 
> Uh, so, yeah...okay. I hate my writing, but that’s alright, whatever.

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter! So,although it is shorter than I had intended it to be,I’m still excited to write it! 
> 
> Also,most of my story ideas come from a song. This story ideas had came from Feel something- Bae Miller.  
> Which is mostly the part where she sings “I just wanna feel something,something really real. To fee like a person again.” (Or something like that,pretty sure I messed up the last line)


End file.
